Kids Grow up FAST – Has that been YOUR experience?
Do you ever ruminate on the passage of time? How quickly it goes? I have become one of those ladies you meet at the grocery store who says to new moms, “Stay at home if you can, it all goes by so quickly!” Right now you might be stuck, feeling a little trapped, but trust me, before you know it, they will be all grown up and you’ll wonder… where did the time go. I have met hundreds of women who mourned missing the moments because when their children will little – they were immersed in something else. I am constantly on a mission to remind moms, don’t miss the moments.
My two kids are all grown up now. It all goes so fast and I am so grateful to God, that I was privileged not to miss the moments.
They went to a wedding last week, a friend they met through their youth group at St. Casmir’s parish got married. I can never resist taking a photograph when they’re all cleaned up! If you’ve read my book Motherhood Matters, you’ll know how much I love being a mom to these two wonderful human beings! My eyes are welling up with tears thinking about all the memories, the moments, the joys, the fears, the journey….
It all goes so fast….
Motherhood has stretched me in ways unimaginable, it has forced me to face the darkest parts of myself – with a fierce determination to overcome those parts out of love for these two humans that have loved me unconditionally. I thank God daily for the sacraments that have fortified me, given me patience with myself, with them.
When I became a mother, something remarkable happened to me. I had a profound Marian experience that filled me with so much love, awe and reverence for the responsibility of these children, that not even wild horses or any professional opportunity, not even a zillion dollars could have pulled me away from what I discovered to be the most rewarding mission in my life… to be their mother with my ALL.
I had no need to keep looking for my passions, my dreams or my purpose, God through the sacrament of matrimony gave me these incredible gifts!!!!! I now felt that I needed nothing else!
Motherhood is enough.
That’s not to say having other passions like painting, running, reading, sailboating, golfing, quilting or working is wrong… I am just trying to give you a glimpse a moment into my own journey in my mothering my children in their early years… I was completely happy just being with them…
It’s funny, whenever Mother’s Day comes around, I always said, “I don’t need a gift for Mother’s Day! YOU TWO are my gifts!!!” They spoil me anyway!
I have to tell you, I am a strange bird. Oftentimes when I heard moms say, “I need time away from my kids.” I’d think, “Not me! I need to BE WITH THEM!” I turned down dozens of invitations to dinners, movies, travel opportunities, contracts, and alike. I found myself relishing in their company, as I do to this very day!
Maybe it’s because I got married late in life? Maybe it’s because I had a zillion corporate opportunities before? Maybe because I battled a rare disease and almost died when they were 2 and 4 ? Or maybe it’s because my dad died suddenly on holidays in Poland when I was in my early twenties? Or maybe it was because my mom taught me about the critical early years?
Honestly, I don’t know the reason.
I have loved the presence of children, ever since I can remember…
But whatever the reason, all I know after my profound Marian experience, there was nothing more important than being a devoted mother! There is nothing more important than fostering and listening to your GOD GIVEN intuition as their MOTHER.
Being a mother, honestly is enough! There are so many sacred duties, so much work, so many graces and joy dispensed; that really I am not sure why, as a culture we have demanded that mothers do so much that requires them to be away from their children. It’s insane. Mothers are loosing graces hand over fist.
Have we forgotten how important we are as THE mother? Have we been brainwashed into believing that we can be easily replaced?
When my children were very little, we lived moments away from a daycare. I could almost see it from my porch. I wrestled and wrestled with every single thought, with every single demand, with every single financial reality and for the life of me, I could not put these kids in a daycare. I would rather never own a home, I would rather never go on a trip, I would rather die. I cried many a night wondering why I was so different, why wasn’t l like everybody else?
Everyone I know keeps talking about￼ children being a sacrifice. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, to me being a mom was not and is not a sacrifice. Being a mom, to me, is the greatest privilege in the whole world.
Is it hard? Yes!
Could I do it without Our Blessed Mother? Without the sacrament of reconciliation? Without the Eucharist? Without Adoration? Without the Catholic Church? Without my husband? No! No! No! And again, NO!
My dearest precious mothers, you do not need to look much further than your children, your husband, your home, your duties to find your purpose! You do not need to look past their sparkling eyes, to find your “why” !!!
You do not need more that your Rosary and the sacraments to learn how to succeed at life! Let your sins be your guide, they will show you what you need to uproot and abolish. Let Eucharistic Adoration be your exilir.
Let the Eucharist be the food that nourishes you.
Do not run around in a frenzy looking for “the” answers. Pray to the Holy Spirit, Cardinal Mercier’s prayer, look no further than what’s before you…
Fulfilling your duties as wife and mother are heroic tasks. There’s nothing more rewarding. Sure, you can delegate or broker your responsibilities to paid help, or distract yourself on social media even whilst at home, but ask yourself what you will be missing. Sacred bonds through to eternity are being forged, moment by moment, task after task…
Before you make any decision, try to see your decision through the eyes of your little ones!
Pray that you surrender to God’s Will, not your own will. The Holy Spirit will take you to the place you belong.
Known only as mother, Our Blessed Mother is the perfect model of motherhood, the Queen of Heaven and Earth…. Her task? Loving Her Son, in poverty, in simplicity, at times in exile and yes, at the foot of the Cross.
Learning to be with your children, at times suffering WITH them, is the greatest gift, the greatest contribution you may make to humanity. And do you know what? That is enough!
Remember, it all goes by sooooo quickly! You will NEVER regret the time you spent loving your children, serving your children with the love of Christ. Need something new? A fresh challenge to help you grow? Develop your potential? Have another baby!!! Cling to Our Blessed Mother. She will not steer you wrong.
It broke my heart once hearing a mom say, “We have to stop making motherhood a form of being a martyr.”
For a hundred different reasons, hearing those words stunned me and pierced my heart. We are called to do whatever the Holy Spirit asks of us. Think of the Saints, think of Our Blessed Mother, think of Jesus Christ. Let us say “yes” to whatever God calls us to..
Dorothy Pilarski is the founder of Dynamic Women of Faith, author, motivational speaker, blogger , guest columnist with the Catholic Register and a facilitator on Salt + Light TV.
To learn a little bit more about Dorothy, visit her website at www.dorothypilarski.com You can get her book, Motherhood Matters, here on Amazon. If you feel called to start a Mother's Group, get the ministry's publication, How to Start a Mother's Group!